


Rainbows

by WrC



Series: HiJack Drabbles [11]
Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies), Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Blow Jobs, M/M, Magical Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-07 03:39:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6783670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WrC/pseuds/WrC
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A shady merchant sold Jack a package of magical gel titled 'taste the rainbow', to make oral sex more enjoyable. Jack then learns to never trust cheap-ass magic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rainbows

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place in a universe where magic is widely available and magical objects are commonly sold. Syndeh and I arrived at the conclusion that there would be 1) a magically enhanced sex industry, and 2) faulty cheap-ass magic. I hope this is as funny as it was in my head ;)

“Jack, I’m not sure about this.”

“Oh come on, Hiccup. What could possibly go wrong?”

Hiccup gave him a plainly unimpressed look. “Gosh where do I start. Do you realize how many painful screw ups have followed on that sentence you just said?”

“It’ll be fun!” Jack waved the small, brightly coloured package in front of his boyfriend. Taste the Rainbow, it said in something that strongly resembled a 90ies word-art font. There were all sorts of tropical fruits printed around it. “The guy I bought it from said it was completely safe. He was pretty funny actually.”

“A funny guy selling you adult magic items. Did he also have a long trench coat and a funny accent?” Hiccup mimicked the resident evil merchant voice. “What are ye buyin’, stranger?”

“No but he did have a pink, six foot dildo.”

“Geez I’m glad you didn’t decide to go that adventurous.”

“See this isn’t so bad! Will you do it?”

Hiccup sighed, still reluctant. Jack changed tactic and started to pout. Then he argued he’d enjoy sucking Hiccup so much more if they’d just use this magical flavor stuff. Then he made that kind of face; the one that Hiccup can’t say no to. The puppy eyes combined with a blowjob in the near future eventually won him over.

“Fine.”

Things were already pretty heated before Jack had pulled the little package of gel from his pants, and now they were right back at it. Jack pushed Hiccup down on the bed and climbed on top of him, kissing him hungrily. He ran his hand through the soft, auburn hair, while Hiccup’s hands wandered across Jack’s back. They dipped down and gave Jack’s ass a little squeeze, enticing a pleased hum from him.

It took very little to get back into the mood again. Some hot kisses, nips, grinding, and a giggle or two later, it was time for the main event. Jack positioned himself between Hiccup’s legs and tore open he package. He’d already read the instructions. Just spread it around, wait a few seconds, and enjoy every fruity flavour you can imagine. Like fruity condoms, only then with an actual fruit taste instead of a cheap chemical substitute with a latex undertone.

He spread the pale gel over Hiccup’s hard member.

“It tingles.” Hiccup giggled and squirmed a bit under the other’s touch. Jack grinned and gave him a few more strokes before he dipped down.

“Oh shit!” Hiccup took in a sharp breath. Jack knew his busyness and sucked and licked like a true expert, knowing exactly what to do to drive his boyfriend crazy.

And for once, it was really tasty! He tasted fresh mango, sweet strawberries, some tangy lemon, savory grapes… it was all there. He hummed approvingly as he tried to get as much of Hiccup in his mouth, drawing a lewd moan from the other man.

“Gods, Jack, I’m gonna-” Hiccup’s hands were intertwined in Jack’s hair, who put in just a bit more effort. Normally he would pull off now, but with this stuff, no way.

With a groan, Hiccup bucked his hips up in a few irregular thrusts before eventually letting go in Jack’s mouth.  Jack kept going, sucking it all down. And then he still went on, licking and sucking until the brunet actually told him to stop. And even then he did so with little enthusiasm.

“Damn, Jack. That was amazing. You didn’t mind I came in your mouth?”

“Are you kidding? This is some good shit! Everything just tastes fruity and sweet, it’s great.” Jack smiled a toothy grin. Hiccup was about to comment that he had something pink on his lips when the satisfied grin turned to a worried frown.

“Jack? Are you okay?” The man was even paler than usual.

“I don’t feel so good”, Jack started. “I… I’m gonna be si-” He couldn’t even finish his sentence before he vomited a literal rainbow next to the bed.

“JESUS CHRIST!”

“Oh sh- huuuuuuugh. What the fuck?!”

“Are you pucking fucking rainbows?!”

“Aw shit I’m so sorry Hiccup.” Jack wiped his mouth. Hiccup had never seen him more miserable than this. “Fuck my stomach hurts too now.” Jack looked down at his hand. “Well be damned. Glitters.”  
The brunet jumped out of bed, avoiding the puddle of multi-coloured puke on the floor, and went to get a bucket and a nullification pill for Jack. It was a high quality pill and it would undo any magic that was influencing Jack, who couldn’t even get up anymore. He was dizzy, and his stomach hurt so much that he couldn’t even stand up straight. All he could do was hold on to that bucket and wait it out.

Meanwhile, Hiccup was cleaning up the mess. A strangely fruity and colourfull mess, but a mess nonetheless. When he was almost done, he heard some giggles coming from the bed.

“Never thought I’d puke actual rainbows. It even smells like fruit.”

“Glad you can see the humour in it”, Hiccup replied dryly.

“It stopped hurting by the way. I think I’m okay now.”

“Seriously if I end up cumming fucking glitter rainbows for the next week, you’re paying for two pills! These things are high grade, they cost a fortune.”

“Please don’t be mad, Hiccup. How could I know?”

Hiccup sighed. He couldn’t have known, true. But he should have been more careful with random magical stuff.

“I mean, the blowjob was good, right?”

“True…” Hiccup couldn’t help but laugh. “And you looking like a living instagram filter is also pretty funny.”

“Too bad it hurt.”

“Consider that your punishment for being so carefree. You should have been more careful where you bought that stuff.”

“Maybe. He did sell me something else too, by the way.”

“No.”

“You don’t even know what it is yet! It’s a mind-reading potion. So the other can see what you think. Potentially very sexy.”

“Don’t you ever learn, Jack?”

“Come on, what could possibly go wrong?”


End file.
